The Special Olympics, part 2 of 2

Well, if you read my previous post, I will continue to describe the republican debate in a way that that the normal middle schooler will understand. On an unrelated note, it has been proven that the average high school graduate has the reading level of a seventh grader. I left off my last post after describing the first two candidates, and with the help of a vomit bucket and a used ummbrella, I will finish describing the otehr two.

Next up in this clown show is this old fool.

Yup. The guy that looks like the protagonist of crankshaft could be our next president.

This grandpa here, his name is Newt Gingritch, is the second most liked candidate in the race. First of all, I do not want a president named after a lizard. Or an amphibian. Except Iguana Jones. He would get all of my votes. all of them. You know what? I am not even going to describe him in full detail. for that, go here.

And last but most radical, here is this guy.

His ears make me laugh.

I have run out of witty things to say, so let me just fill you in. He strictly believes that the original constitution,  written now nearly two hundred and forty years ago, should be followed to the exact letter. He is very conservative, and believes in staying out of things that aren't his problem, he thinks global warming is a hoax, he thinks that church and state should not separate, and he looks like Magneto.

What an uncanny resemblance.

Well, that is all I can write before my mind becomes permanently dulled. If you think that I made any mistakes, feel free to mock me in the comments section below. Enjoy your day, and if you name happens to be Hunter Vasey, I hope an asteroid travels across space and hits you in the balls while you are sleeping.