Jeff's movie reviews: The Fifth Element.

Alright, so last night, I was re-watching one of my favorite movies, The Fifth Element. you can check it out here, or if you are not interested in that sort of thing, here.

To put it simply, The Fifth Element is Die Hard in space, except in The First Element, the enemy is literally a giant ball of death.

What roguish charm.

With such a wonderful enemy, you would expect a really awesome hero, and you have it in the form of spacecab driver John McClane, I mean, Korben Dallas, and his trippin' cat.

With heroes like this, you know we're gonna win.

So apparently, this ball made out of pure evil is going to come down to earth and totally fuck things up. To stop this from happening, they have to put some stones somewhere and something or other. Yeah, I wasn't really paying attention. Then, this guy comes up.

Wow. Even now, I am confused as to what that abomination on his head is, is it like a hat? a fez? Whatever. Now this guy wants moolah, so he gives a call to the death ball, yes, he calls this giant ball of death. Is there service in space? What kind of self-respecting ball of death has a cell phone? Anyway, he has to steal the stones to get money. This baffles me the most. Why is this guy trying to help the giant ball of death that is poised to destroy everything everyone has ever known, including him? perfect logic, really.

Then to please the erst of the male audience, they put Milla Jovovitch in clothes like this.

And then Bruce Willis blows things up. And Chris Tucker happens. Nuff' said.