Batman: On Shootings And Shocked Expressions.

Greetings, internet. I may be a little late to commenting about the James Holmes shooting, but better late than  kumquats.

That is the proper phrase, right?

Anywho, If you haven't been plugged into the news-o-sphere with a bloody cord in the back of your neck, there was a shooting in the Aurora theater in Colorado, where some crazed gunman shot up a theater during the midnight premiere of The Dark Knight Rises. It was a crowded theater, and there were 13 casualties and 52 wounded. Talk about a harsh reception, am I right guys?

Hello? Is this mike even on?

First of all, I'd like to talk about James's choice. Talking from a strategic point of view, he did well, blocking the exits and whatnot. From a humanitarian point of view, shame on him. Well he chose the right time, because, well look, it was the Batman premiere. It ensured that the crowds were gunning for the seats.

If you thought that was a bad joke, you've got much more to deal with. Eyewitness reports describe that Holmes waited about 20 minutes after the movie started, and the audience was initially confused because they thought the gunfire was coming from the film. Looks like the movie really blew them away. I originally didn't want to check it out, but I heard it was worth a shot. It did well financially too, because it made a killing in the box offices. I think I'm just gonna wait until the crowds die down first.

Well, I guess that's it. I can show myself out.

The Hunger Gaems Movie Review Part 2.

Tere is no real part two of my previous review. I just wanted to add a slight amount of suspense to this dull, mundane, monochrome blog. But here, for all your troubles, for all your hard work by clicking on this blog, have some beansies.

Movie Review: The Hunger Games, Part 1

Just yesterday, I had the spectacular (mis-)fortune of watching the movie adaption of the Hunger Games.

LOOK AT THIS. SHE ISN'T EVEN HOLDING THE DAMN THING PROPERLY.

 I am willing  to be honest with people, I was watching the movie with my 'cynical asshole' glasses on, so things might have been a little different for you. After I met a few friends in the lobby, we went inside, and sat front and center. During the preview of the new Twilight movie, I nearly got kicked out of hte theater for laughing my head off.

When the actual movie started, I still thought that it was a preview, because none, I mean, NONE of the actors they chose were at all similar to anything described in the book. I decided to let it slide, because why not. It was all fine and dandy until this asshole arrived.

Look at his little smug face. I JUST WANNA PUNCH HIM.

By the time the movie was only 20 minutes in, I was cracking up. The only problem is, it was the serious scene. I literally could NOT stop laughing at his bitch face. More like Just Bitcherson. Anyway, the choreography look quite obviously written by Michael Bay, and the entire film seemed to have been shot by Michael J. Fox. More on that here.

My Thoughts On Competitive Pokemon.

Look, I don't need to apologize to an uncaring internet, but I will anyways. I won't make the dumb excuse of 'I have been busy with school,' because everybody does that. I actually have been busy...playing Pokemon. That's right, Pokemon. Just last week, I had my first taste of competitive pokemon, and boy, it sucked.  All of my pokemon died, and some creepy guy with a goatee made fun of me for not knowing what EV training was. He recommended me this site right over here. Smogon is a place on teh internet where people go to play pokemon competitively. I checked it out for a while, then I had come to a conclusion. Smogon takes pokemon way too seriously.

The world's saddest university. 

 Despite the deep strategy involved in the game, Pokemon was originally created by Satoshi Tajiri with children as the main demographic, and even fourteen years later, they still are. Nintendo rates those children that beg and scream at their parents for the new amee as better customers than those who actually care about strategy. In conclusion, this guy.

Valentines Day Food Chain.

Well, valentines day just happened. I don't really know now to describe it in fancy words, so, it was... mundane. I will explain this in the easiest format possible.

First of all, you got the deep-in-love couple sitting in the corner, the ones that the entire school is talking about, the ones that always use cutesy-wootsy launguage when they are around eachother.

Next, you have the popular kid group, the ones who pressure their parents into buying them really fancy chocolates and roses. This immature pack of boys roam around the school, like a wild pack of horny meerkats, giving their chocolate boxes to the girl with the biggest breasts.

 

 

 

 

Like this, but with scraggly mustaches and doused in axe body spray.

After that, you have the possibly-insane girls who talk too much about their possibly non-existent boyfriends. This species is also identifiable by the fact taht they are carrying large presents half their size, for example, large teddy bears.

On the bottom of this metaphorical scale, you have the awkward kids who are always complaining about how alone they are. The sad thing is, this is the majority of my school. These sad creatures are hte ones shouting "OH GOD IM SO FOREVER ALONE!" What really pisses me off is how they use the term in a trifling matter. Its only middle school. Leave that title for the 40-year old virgins living in their mother's basements.

 Well, thats all folks. If I missed anybody out, tell me in the comments!

Comment. NAO.

Hey guys. Midnight on a Friday night, and I have not done anything of remote interest. Well, this leaves only one thing left.

Make a request for a movie, any movie, from Superbabies 2 to The Shining, I will watch it, and I will review it. People like my reviews, right?

To make up for your time, here.

The Creepiest. Game. Ever.

Holy shit, guys. The game I just played... its friggin scary. I am still, still shaking. Someone help me. It has been a whole half-hour, I am still freaking out.

You start off with no instructions, no backstory, and no intro. You're thrown headfirst into the game, once you start. The first  thing you see is a corridor. You're in a corridor with glowing blue walls and a pitch black floor. Your only source of light is the walls, that glow a sicky blue.

Your character is some sort of mad cannibal that you can barely control. You are only able to force him to turn corners in this creepy maze of hallways. He seems to grab everything he sees and eats it.; whatever is hrown in front of him he gobbles up and munches it down.

While traversing this asylum, you are chased by four different, hideous, and fucking SCARY monsters. well, they were more like ghosts than monsters. You cannot hurt them AT ALL, and letting them catch up to you is instant death, in which the ghost-monster latches onto you and rips your insides all, apart. The worst part is, you can hear your own guts being torn apart. Crazy shit.

You can, however, eat some crasy objects lying hidden in the maze, and after you eat then, your charactetr, which hs already a psychopath, goes even crazier, like an LSD trip turned awry. Once you eat these pills, you can literally EAT the ghosts. Your character just runs up to them and devours them whole, witht eh whole "exxtended jawline" type thing. The wierdest part is, you leave their eyes.

There are little to no words to describe this game, other than ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING. I don't want to spoil it for you, so if you can name the game, write it down in the comments!

Yup.